Elly Grey

 Each year, I write something about myself and my life, on my birthday. I write about lessons learnt in the year gone. I write about what I hope will come.  So what have I learnt in the past year?  I have learnt that peace is important. A calm life is a prize. I have won in life when I am still, but the world keeps turning and people come and go.  There are things I can influence and there are things that I need to let go of. I have learnt that I will love people deeply and that love may not be reciprocated and that is okay because it doesn't mean that my love diminishes. Love goes on. I have learnt that the biggest revelations will come to me when I have stopped sobbing. Tears just aren't the secret to clear skin. They clear the eyes and they definitely clear the mind. I have learnt that at this age, I don't need to chase the promotion or the bigger pay packet but focus on my well-being instead.  And I have learnt that those who are across the miles, online, pe...

 If I allow it to embrace me, it will. Gently, and reassuringly. 

We have storms happening inside us and we will still smile. Nobody knows our reality, because everyone has their own reality. Nobody's life is smooth sailing and perfect. We are all the same. Happy, sometimes sad, floating together, heads above water, the best way can, through this thing called Life.

 Just wanted to say this before I sleep; we've said our goodbyes  but there hasn't been a day that has gone where I've not wanted to tell you something, there isn't a moment that I've not wanted to share something with you, there isn't a time that I didn't miss you.

 If I have loved you once,  I will hold that love for you forever.  You may have annoyed me. You may have broken my heart. I may not talk to you again, but I will hold love in me, forever.  And you will not understand that. Nobody will but it is how I am. Because when I see you, I see again, the first time that I saw you.  I recall what you first said to me. I know every love letter by heart, every word you said. I hear your laughter, and I hear your frustrations too and I know then, that love, real love, cannot die.  It does not. 

 I just want to call you Darling. Let me.

 Come here Darling, with me.  Together, let's kill each other.  Inhale, exhale.  Ecstasy.