You wonder

 And some nights you miss Life; what it was, how it used to be, who was around you, and who isn't now. You think about how things have changed and where certain people have gone. You think about the ones who don't talk to you anymore. You think about how you will never take good times for granted again. You want your kids to be babies again, you just want to feel a tiny hand holding yours, relying on you for everything. You want to go back and meet a few people twice, undo the past and then go ahead. You think about the laughter, the safety, being taken care of and not having a care in the world. You think about friends that moved on and you never crossed paths again. You wonder if they ever think of you too. You think about what it's all about; working all day, dropping off at night, getting up to do it all again the next day x 5, on repeat. You wonder what's the point if you aren't booking holidays. You wonder how many times you can clean, set and decorate your home. You think about when it may all end and what will finally take you. You wonder if people will think of you fondly if you left. What would they say and how many days would it take to forget your name.