Elly Grey

Two. Trying the best they could. Recalibrating and adjusting; their way of trying to hold onto what they had. It was calm and chaotic. Her overthinking and his reassurances. Until it wasn't. It broke. It was exhausting, but it was something. They knew it was. It was a distance. It was words not said. It was yearning understood. There were so many years of silence, that it was comfortable. A hidden longing. An orbit of two planets. Beautiful. 

Just love. No position necessary, your first love, your last, unrequited or whatever. It's just love. You love. You just do.

 My biggest wish is to have peace.  Peace in my heart, my mind and my breathing.  I want peace to be in my home.  I want peace to be around me when I meet others.  I want peace to be in my words.  I want to be removed from anything that will not bring me peace.  That's all I want.  Enough of battles, and tousles and fights.  Enough of situations where I'm not wanted. Peace is all I want to take me home. 

I will never tell him that I miss him. I used to. I did. I would tell him all of the time. But it made no difference. It was met with a silence, a pause and would leave me lost and awkward. It told me that my voice was not heard, or heard and not received. So I now keep it to myself. And I do miss him. I do, but I will never tell him. I will swallow my words. I will drown my heart, but I will never tell him. I will never tell him that I miss him. 

 These aren't freckles, these are stars. And my blood has stardust in it. And I'm magical. I sparkle. These stars are drawn on me to confirm it. 

 Some days there are no words.  You just sit there numb.  And you hope that a friend will come, And translate the deafening silence for you. 

 My heart is turning into stone.  There will be nothing left of me.