Connect

Life, death, friends, family, online and real offline connections.

What do we take to be real? We like to think that our online connections are our "friends".

Are they really? How useful is being virtual when you really need someone? When you need someone to hug you, sit with you, physically be there - do you have that?

What is vital are real, tangible connections. The ones where we can physically reach out and touch someone. Check on people. You don't need to wait to notice if they are quiet. Reach out and ask how they are, and more importantly, after that - wait, and listen to their response. And when you hear that they don't sound a 100%, hone in on them and be with them.

Yes life is short, and unpredictable, but are you going to wait until that person isn't around anymore to then write about how good they were as a person? Are you then going to say to yourself, I should have been there for them?

Be with them now.

Life is busy but we need to make time. Prioritise. Know what is important. Your connections, real connections are important and they are now.

Parallel

 In another Universe, you tuck my hair behind my ear and kiss my nose. I stand up on my tiptoes and snuggle into you. 

Broken

 What did I do wrong? Where did I go wrong? Why is all this happening to me?

Have I done injustice to someone? an indiscretion, a fault?

Did I take someone's right, and that is why this is happening to me?

Is this a test, that I seem to be failing badly?

Is it a test to see if my heart can snap in two?

Is it trying to see if I will stay sane?

I don't know how much more my heart can endure.

And this well of tears, when will they dry?

When will they say, "Look at her, we've broken her. It's enough, she's broken. She has had enough. Let's stop and let her pick up her pieces. 

Let's see what is left of her."

 

I swear...

 

A day of pin drop silence.

The Ocean's roar so loud that I had to stop and think.

I talked about you to the water, the sky, the shells I picked up 

and to my Dad. 

Beat less, beat slow.

Let me take a deep breath.

Let me close my eyes and see you again.

With my hand on your beating heart, 

I swear...

I missed you.

Deeply

 I'll never give up the part of me that loves so deeply. No matter what you say or think of me, I will not make my love mediocre. 

Torture

When she overthinks, she harms herself. She will remember everything. She will go over everything, again and again. She will remember words and indiscretions. She will remember how you reacted when she needed reassurance. She will bury herself in evidence. She will make her heart hurt. She will not want rationalisation. She will not listen to you or anyone. She will prod the wound again and  again until she bleeds. Until she's in pain again from her own actions, tortured by her own mind. It'll kill her one day, you'll see. 

Sorcery

I look for him in everyone I meet. 

I look around the room to find him. 

I know he is not here. 

He cannot be and yet I still look for him. 

What craziness is this, Mind?

Why do you play tricks on me? 

Why do you get your hopes up, Heart?

Please beat slowly and steadily. 

You are his home -and  he lives within me. 

And still I hope for magic that he may suddenly appear.

Sorcery.