Loudly

 "I can't, you see. I can't go back to how it was. I'm not the same person anymore. And don't get me wrong. It killed me, it really did. It killed us, but you didn't see what you did. You didn't get that I knew all along. I was giving you time. Time to straighten yourself up and to realise that you're about to lose me. And you did. And now you know, oh boy, do you know of how good it all was and how you threw it away. So now that I'm not there anymore, please move on and move out of my way. I need to live loudly."

Heal

Give yourself time 

Give your mind grace 

Learn to heal

Nobody can do that for you

No superficial attachment that you may want as 'being in love' will fix your life for you 

Yes you're lonely and yes you need to be around people

But learn sit with yourself first

Work through the loss, the loneliness and the grief

Come out the other side  and then see the abundance of attraction and what is real

We have been there and we have come through it

So can you

Your Side

 At night, I'll move to your side of the bed. It makes me sad when I do this, because it's still your side, but you aren't coming back. 

And on cold nights, I'll tuck my blanket under my body, coccoon myself up. I then hear your voice saying to me "Here, cover yourself, you're cold" and you'd wrap me up so I am warm. But you won't do that now because you aren't coming back. 

And some nights I think maybe it's all a bad dream and I'll wake up with you being on your side, but it won't ever happen, because you aren't coming back. 

Candid

 Take photos and record videos of the people precious to you. Capture moments. They don't have to be staged moments, but real, candid ones. One day, you'll want to find and watch them because that's all you'll have left. And it'll break your heart that there won't be anymore.

Ache

 Some days I can't breathe. 

And I don't know who to tell. 

I don't know who to call and alleviate my ache with. 

But I so want to tell someone, that I am a person who aches. I have my illnesses, my pain. 

I too need someone beside me, to hold onto me and tell me it'll be ok. 

Ghosts

 And there will be promises that were not kept and dreams left unfulfilled. There will be nights where you will wonder where everyone has gone. And you will pray for calm and peace within, and ask that tonight, the ghosts will not play and allow you to sleep. 

The Flintstones

Sometimes I wish I could go back to this time. The sounds, the songs, that time of the afternoon, at home safe and happy. A repetitive familiarity. A numbness, a boundary. No need for wanting to be older, because I was a kid and this was all I knew. Food made by my mum; all I had to do was eat it. There was nothing more to do but to laugh and wait for the next cartoon show to play.