Elly Grey

 There are signs that I'll see. It's the Universe's way of nudging me. It's telling me to look down, slow down, and pay attention.  It makes me stop and smile.  It allows me to maintain a child-like wonder of the world around me.  It's so important...so important to do this.  To realise there's something so small that can catch my attention and bring my thinking to a stand still.  Just a leaf, a heart shaped, golden leaf laying on the ground signalling me to notice it.  I did, I saw it's the perfect shape of a heart. It made me think of you and that I'll ask how yours is. A pause between heartbeats.  A question asked.  How's your heart? 

 A man does not love you.  He lusts for you. The attention he pays to you is only to get an outcome for himself.  Once he has that, you are nothing to him.  Do not mistake his talking to you as his interest in you.  Or that he is vested in a friendship.  Be guarded and respect yourself enough to say "no".  He will move on very fast when he hears that.  And you will see how genuine he was.  Lust is not love. Attention to you is not a commitment. Persistence is not interest. Words are empty. 

 Even a heart doesn't stay broken forever. Where is that person you thought you couldn't live without?  Just look at your heart now, flowers have bloomed. 

 See what you've done?  You took a heart that was loving, giving and expansive and made a mockery of it.  Now she's guarded. There's barbed wire around her heart. Now try her. You can't because you ruined it. 

 I will say this much,  There isn't a day that goes by when I don't miss you.  I wish I could rest my head on your chest, and sleep. I want to tell you so much.  Every silly detail.  I know you tell me I talk too much but I also know you miss me too. 

And you go on without them being a part of your day, the one you thought that you couldn't go without. The thing is, there was a time where you were living life without them and you were doing just fine. And then there came a time where each moment, you wanted to share with them and it became a habit. But habits can be broken and now look at yourself. You're getting there. You will get there.  Where?  To that place of peace and calm, where they don't care, and that won't affect you; where they don't need to know, and you'll go on living.  You'll breathe and take it all day by day, living life, your way.  And where the heart was once blue, it's now white.

And tomorrow never came because it never does. How clever were you and how hopeful was I?