Enough

 A friend today said something to me that left me a little lost for words. They said, "I'm sorry I didn't contact you much when your father passed away. I'm sorry I didn't message you".

Seriously, I wasn't expecting such words. I went silent for a moment but then responded that it didn't matter and I did not even think of it. 

Later, I was thinking again about my friend's words. It was enough for me that they said it. 

I was thinking about death and when a person suffers through grief and loss. It's a very strange time, in that immediate moment. You're numb and things are happening but you're not absorbing it, and you can't seem to recall much either, later. 

Truthfully, I can only recall a handful of faces that I remember seeing at Dad's funeral. I can only remember a few people's messages to me. Strangely, I do remember names of people who have not said anything to me to date; the ones who've known my father and I for ages. I'm still waiting for them to say something to me. I'm not sure why I'm expecting this from them, why am I waiting? I shouldn't be. 

Because people react oddly to someone's death. Some react immediately - hands on, active, and some stay away. For some, it's awkward, and some people are right there with you. We can't say what's the right way to act or react when it happens, we handle sad news and shock so differently from each other.

Keeping that in mind, I shouldn't be waiting for some to say words. As for this friend, I don't hold it against them.