Quiet

 Some days are quiet and the nights are quieter.

It's like nobody lives around me anymore. 

Yet the world inhabits so many people. They just aren't talking to me. 

It's very oddly quiet. Too silent in fact. 

Blue Moon

 You cannot describe her beauty.  You cannot capture her nakedness. 

Try to paint her, encapsulate her in a frame, write about her. You can't. 

Her naked beauty seen by your eyes can only be witnessed for that moment. Never to be seen again.

Wounded

 I'm sitting here thinking about him. About the things he says to me and does. It's the little things that make my heart smile. He knows it makes my heart smile. And some days for him are hard. He's wounded and hurt. But I'm here, and he knows that. He knows I am. For him. 

My Happy

Being at home, taking photos, the colour pink, soft flowing fabrics, poetry books, fairy lights lit in a garden, art museums, a spring breeze, parfum, looking at the stars, being near water, scented flowers, antique wooden furniture, watching a day dawn, singing while on a long drive alone, sitting in a cafe having coffee and a friand and... writing. 

Smoke and mirrors

 We are all broken.

Imperfect.

No intimate relationship is perfect.

But if you love, then you try the best you can...

until you can't. 

Don't destroy yourself, your inner happiness. 

Life's too short to suffer in something that doesn't give you sunshine yellow joy. 

You weren't put on this earth to live miserably day in day out. 

Think about it...

Is that really the purpose of your Self? 

The perfect relationship, the fairytale life...

Love quotes are all bullshit. 

It's all smoke and mirrors. 

Elly's Six:

 1. Life will throw curve balls at you, but always know there's a lesson behind every hurdle. It'll reveal itself to you in time in some strange way. You probably won't even realise it then but you'll see it one day. 

2. If it didn't work out, it's because something better is coming. Trust the timing. Always tell yourself, "when it's right for me, it'll be". And it will be, when the time is right. 

3. Don't settle for bad, half-arsed relationships. Don't settle if you are not happy. Life is short, so move on, go and live. Create your life. 

4. You deserve happiness every single day of your life and that happiness you'll bring to yourself. Don't rely on someone to make you happy. They can't and won't because people are too self-absorbed in their own lives. 

5. Look after your mind, your body and soul. Nourish them with things that are good for you. Health is important at every stage of your life. Start early, your older years will thank you. It's not too late to start even now. Each movement, each step helps you. 

6. You don't need to prove anything to anyone. People go around hiding their own flaws, they have a tonne of skeletons in their own closets, but they'll never show you. So don't worry about what people will say or think. You do what you want to do. And then you'll be happy. 

Me love

 Loving yourself isn't vanity. They can love you too, but first, you must love yourself. Only then can you accept the love of everything else.

Solo

 I had to take this trip on my own. I had to find myself, by myself. Was I lonely and scared? 

Yes I was. 

Did I get over it quickly, do what I had to?

 Yes. 

Spending days reading, resting, reflecting, eating & doing at times, nothing.

 I am glad. We should do alone sometime in our lives

Journey

 Never be afraid of losing people. People come and go. You can't force them to love you, like you, or stay. If they are meant to be a part of your journey, they'll be. And when and if they go away, say goodbye, thank them for stopping by and then wait for the new.

Harmony

 Do you know how you know there's serenity and peace? 

No?

It's when you are around birds and they don't fly away. 

That's when there's harmony.

Cherry blossom

 A tiny kitchen with a window looking out to snowcapped mountains. 

A young girl with her recipe book making gulab jamuns on a kerosene stove. 

A flower blew onto the page. 

The year, was 1999 

and a cherry blossom was caught in time.

Autumn

 Autumn, this season is my favourite. 

The reds, oranges and yellows have come to line the streets and pathways with colour. 

And what a lesson it teaches me: 

To never be afraid to show your true self.

Fall you might...

Even hibernate,

And come back fresh... 

To do more and do it all again.

Yourself

Don't you wish you had a friend like yourself? 

I know, I know how proud of yourself you are. That's why I am asking the question. 

You're such a good person. You stand by, back up and support. You give words of encouragement, you're always there, you wipe tears when they cry. You clap loudly when they've achieved. 

You step in , you'll pay, you take care of everything. You'll pick up every call, and answer every text.

You'll do it all. Because that's you. You're the amazing, ever giving friend. 

But don't you wish you had one of you too? 

Liquid Amber

 "What colour are his eyes?"

"A beautiful brown... You know people go gaga over blue or green eyes but I tell you, brown eyes are the ones that hold real beauty. Have you ever seen the sun's rays fall into brown eyes? They shine iridescent like liquid amber". 

Quiet

On the days he is quiet, I miss him desperately. He's in his bubble, his shell. He'll come out when he's ready. 

But I want him to know, he's on my mind. I check again and again to see if he's written. I hope he knows that I think about him, hoping he's doing okay. 

Trace

 His fingers...they write on my skin, a poem so sweet, so alluring. Telling me this night is just beginning. 

Fools

 "Love is for fools. Fools who live in a fake Paradise". 

"You are really against Love aren't you?"

"I don't have time for such stuff".

"What a shame... But I know one thing, you do love. You love some things deeply. You are too scared to show it. You are afraid to be raw. I do know this too, that one day, it'll bring you to your knees, and you'll beg for Love to stay".

Yours

 "Your words cast spells".

"Do they really?".

"Yes. I love reading them. Are they for anyone special?"

"Yes, in fact they are, but he doesn't read them".

"That's a shame. I'd give anything for someone to write about me!"

"Someone probably does, and you're probably reading them  too but not realising it though, that words can be written for someone in mind, but you'll read them, and they'll apply to you too. They are just as much as yours as they are his".

"I like that!"

Dessert

 Life is too short

Too uncertain....

There's a part that comes after this that says 'so eat the dessert'.

Yeah eat what you want but I say 'Be with those who are truly yours. Those who would do anything for you. Tell them you love them. Tell them they are important to you. Tell them they mean the world to you'

Don't be embarrassed about it. We all have our shortcomings. We have all stuffed up somewhere in our lives. And we are vulnerable. But that's our innocence and the reflection of our souls.

Anar

 Within me was everything.

I just had to recognise it.

I blocked the voices out

that told me I was too much.

And gave birth to the flower within. 

Fatima

To the child who was murdered by monsters, I want to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what you endured. I'm sorry for the horror and torture that they caused you. I'm sorry that instead of a carefree, fun childhood, you had to be surrounded by adults, who were too loud, too big in size and cruel. I am sorry that you endured pain and you had no idea at the time of what was happening to you. I'm sorry that when you cried for help, nobody came. I'm sorry that you went through this every time and you must have thought, you have to. I'm sorry that you would have been confused. I'm sorry nobody heard you or protected you. Your own didn't protect you. I'm sorry that you were born into a society that thinks a child working so hard, hard labour day in day out, is normal. I'm sorry that at night when you would have rested your tiny frame, you were exhausted. I'm sorry you didn't get to grow up. You must have thought of what you want to be when you are big. I'm sorry that you cried. I'm sorry that nobody came to help you. I'm sorry that they cut up your tiny body to figure out what was done to you. I'm sorry that even after your death, there'll be no justice for you. 

Expansive

 "Is there a reason?"

"No"

"Is there a why?"

"No"

"Then how do you know? How do you know it's love?"

"Because you can't put the feeling into words. You can't, no matter how many poems one writes or whatever love songs are sung, you can't describe it. And that's how you know. If you try to rationalise it, put reasoning to it, you are denying that some things just happen. They just do. These things are beyond our control. Who you love is beyond your control."

"So if I ask, 'why do you love me?' That's futile?"

"Of course! That's limiting love, why would one do that? Limit something so expansive, so comforting and wonderful?". 

Just know

How do I know that he loves me? 

Because when I'm quiet, he comes to me. 

He knows I'm sad. He'll do things to make me smile. 

The little things that he knows comfort me, he'll bring me those. 

He'll tell me that he's missing me, because Elly isn't herself. 

That's cute. It's adorable and it's what his love is. 

Nostalgia

 Deep love felt once, I feel, gets 'archived'. It's the memories we miss. It's those memories that play in our mind. It's the voices, things said, places visited, a song. 

Those things don't leave us. 

I feel, if the person walked past you, you'd not 'feel' that love...but nostalgia. And that's where you leave it.

Silence

Some days the words don't come. 

And some days pass by and I haven't spoken to anyone.

All men

 Some say "Not all men". 

Maybe. 

Why? 

Because you really don't know him. You have no idea what he's like behind closed doors, in real life, when the world isn't watching him. 

You will only say he's not like all men because you've only seen what he's shown you.  

Wait until you see the side of him that will come out, when he's angry at you because you're trying to talk about something he did, or when he's upset at you because you've asked for an explanation, or when you've not agreed with him. 

Not all men? All men. 

Wait for it...

Momentum

What do people in love do? 

Well...they don't falter. 

They stick together. 

They support one another by backing each other. 

They aren't afraid. 

They find comfort in each other.

Their every moment is composed of forevers. 

Up

I'll wait.

I'll wait for the one who turns the corners of my mouth up. 

Seeing him will make my stomach flutter, just thinking about him and me. 

My eyes will sparkle and my skin will shine

And everyone will ask, what's gotten into me. 

Venom

 And then he said "I hope you find love. I know you will. I know I will. But know one thing, there's no one like you. There's nobody like you. I've always said that" And venom burst from her mouth, "Of course there's no one like me! You'll never find anyone like me! You'll remember me!."

Attention

What do I love about him? 

I love that his undivided attention is on me. 

I love that I am his last thought at night. 

I love that when he's busy, he'll still make time for me. 

I love that he doesn't say it but I know it. 

And that's all I need to know. 

Enough

 There was a time where you loved to hear the things she had to say. Because you couldn't get enough of her voice, enough of her. You'd pretend that whatever she said was amazing. You were enthralled, hooked. 

And then you wanted her silent because you'd had enough. And she was better quiet, not talking to you.

But you forgot one thing. You forgot that she writes. And she now writes about you.

Connection

 connection.

a word,

a call,

a touch,

eye contact, 

meeting of minds,

 thoughts shared,

a smile,

a song,

a poem,

a letter,

a goodbye.

Dandelion

 Fluffy wishes blown into the air.

How I wish I could tell you what I wished for...

But then I'd have cursed it.

And it wouldn't come true.

Would it? 

So I'll just blow these tiny wishes to the wind.

And hope for more.

Mine

"Mine?"

"Yours"

And we never questioned that again. 

Years have passed. 

The end. 

Projection

 Self-love, acceptance and rooting for yourself takes time. It's not easy and it doesn't come overnight. 

Others opinion of you will affect you. We all want to be liked. 

Block out the noise and know that people come with baggage. They'll project their problems onto you to avoid personal accountability. Know that it's not your job to clothe their skeletons. 

Invest in your own mental and spiritual peace. The noise can go jump. 

My Nani's House

Tonight, I am missing my Naniama. I am missing her home. I am missing the atmosphere that was in it. 

My Naniama's house was a haveli...is, as it still exists. It has the most ornate ceilings, doors, jharokas, quaint balconies, a gallery, decorated fireplaces and huge rooms. The colours on the walls are soft greens and yellows. 

The best part of getting to the house was walking through the galliyaan and then climbing two very steep flights of stairs to get to the first floor. That's where the family lived. 

The house always was full of life and activity. The kitchen was busy, with wonderful smells coming from it. My Mami was the best cook and so hospitable. She would never let you leave without eating. Secretly, you would wish she did serve you food even if out politeness you would be saying no in formality. It was always that good. 

What I miss, and loved, seeing was that as soon as I would climb those steep stairs, my Naniama would come out of her room and greet me. Just to see her face smiling and her saying " Ageyi ho?" with a hug was everything. Inside, my Nanaji would be sitting on his bed, watching TV. In the other room, Mamu would be relaxing, home from his Police duty. 

And cousins...the banter and gupshup would go on and on. They would try and finish their chores so we could go to Moti Bazaar for shopping. One cousin would be dusting, another would be sweeping the floors, with the other ironing clothes. Everyone had a job to do. 

And as afternoon would come, I would go onto the roof and see the different sides of 'Pindi. The Maghrib azaan happened, birds flew home, a PIA plane flew over the big cinema billboard sign and so much noise from Murree Road's traffic, sounds of horns and motorbikes. An unforgettable melody. 

Dinner time would come, and we'd sit around on the floor, waiting for hot chappattis to be served with Mami's yummy chicken salan, karah masala gosht and pulau.

And then TV time. It was also the time, where we would pull out the bedding, razais and pillows to all sleep on the floor. We would snuggle in and keep warm while watching some drama on TV. 

Being served hot milk, would be the last ritual of the night. It was strange at first to taste buffalo milk but I got used to it. 

And then lights out with the zero watt bulb, a red or green glow. Just faint enough to see. And then the giggling, the scary story telling and someone falling asleep first. 

Tonight, all of this has come back to me. I so wish I could relive this, but it's not possible to. It'll never be. But tonight, there's an ache for it. Just to hear those voices again, the smells, the sounds of laughter. To see those faces again. To visit it again as a teenager. To go back to Pindi 1984/85. 

Concerts

 I've made a pact with myself to see as many concerts as I can until I cannot. 

I've missed seeing my favourite artists performing, thinking they'll tour again.... But they didn't. 

So from now on ... It's every show possible. So when I get to the end, I can say "I saw them in concert!"

This is going to be fun! 

Strength

 Do you ever feel like giving up some nights, because it's all too much? 

What keeps you going? What makes you change your mind? 

Who gives you the strength to carry on? 

Because I'll tell you, my friend, I've had enough and it does get to me. And sometimes I think if it took me now, there'd be peace. 

A name

 "Do you want to know something?"

"Yes"

"You say my name perfectly. I love that. Many people don't. But other than my mother, you're the only one who says my name as it's meant to be said".

"Well, I love to learn how the name of a person should be pronounced. It's a beautiful thing, a name. It has an ownership, a meaning. It should be said correctly, because it's yours."

Sundays

Sundays are special days. It's the lazy wake up, knowing that I don't have to go to work. It's cooking a breakfast that is indulgent a little, because I don't have the leisure of having it during my work week. It's drinking tea slowly, savouring it sip. Sundays are for staying in my pyjamas all day because it's just so comfortable to lounge around in. It's about having that second cup of tea, while curling up on the lounge infront of the TV. Sundays are for glancing out the window, making pictures in the clouds and looking at the sky change colours. 

Self

Remember to be extra kind to yourself always.

You owe yourself that because no one is going to do that for you. No one is going to love you as much as you'll need to love yourself. 

Look in the mirror and be proud of your features, for a body that works and does things for you and your unique, beautiful smile. 

Tell yourself, that self respect is important and you'll be loving and kind and do only what's best for because that's what you deserve.

Conquering

Gazing up to the sky and stars makes me put my problems into perspective. That, they aren't really 'mountains' that I carry and anything can be conquered. The vastness of the Universe makes me believe I'm part of it all.

No talking

 There are days when I don't feel like talking to you. 

I feel comfortable in this peace. 

Because on some days there's nothing to say.

And there's no point in idle chat to fill a space.

Talk to me and I'll answer when you've got something meaningful to say. 

Stars

 Me and the stars:

Forever looking up. 

Forever gazing.

Hoping one will fall,

So I can forever wish. 

Light on

 There are some nights I'll sleep with the lamp left on. 

The darkness itself seems too harsh and cold. 

The lamp light is comforting, not sure how...

But it seems like then I'm not that alone.

To those:

We are the poets, the dreamers, the ones who hear a song in rainfall or the wind. To those who are mesmerised by the ocean, and each wave that brings calm, to the ones who see a flower and think that nothing can be so pure. To those who see the Moon and are transported to another realm. To those who see and feel nothing but poetry in nature itself. To the ones whose love language is sharing the beauty around them with others. 

Loss

At the time, it feels like your heart is in your throat. Your breathing aches, you can't even swallow.

Where does the love go? Where do those words go that were said to each other? 

When one's walking and the other is standing still. How do minds change? 

Where do feelings go? 

And then there's the emptiness, the loss, the loneliness.

This part is cruel because every memory comes flooding in just to torment. 

Every place, every shop, every street, every song. One word is a trigger that floods the mind with times that were together. 

And that's when we know, they aren't coming back. 

So a loss is a lesson. 

We learn from it. 

 We go on living with it. 

Until it doesn't hurt any more.

Pain

So much going on within.

Pain - that can't be seen by anyone else.

You wish to talk to someone about it, but nobody really wants to listen. 

Fear- of your body being against you.

Scared - that despite all you do, it argues back.

And you want to be healthy, and live. 

But you're terrified, that it won't be as you wish. 

Because there's pain everywhere. 

And it won't go away. 

No matter how the medicines try to save you. 

It'll take you one day. 

No more

 There comes a point in your life where it all comes together.

The moment where every word, every speech you've recited in your head comes out.

You are saying the words and having a kind of out of body experience. Hearing yourself flow words like 

"That's enough!" 

"No more" 

"Good bye".

Say it

 How do I tell you that I'm missing you? 

Heavy

 My heart's heavy tonight.

It's missing a few people.

People who are far away from me. 

I wish they were closer.

Then this heart wouldn't hurt as much. 

Wishes

 Here's my wish for you: 

I hope you get everything that you secretly wish for.

I wish you happiness and health. 

I wish that your favorite people are always around. 

I hope you never have to quieten or lower your voice.

I hope you laugh out loud, a lot.

I hope your eyes always sparkle when you talk about things you are passionate about. 

I hope you never see a sad day in your life. 

I hope success and wealth come easily your way and you can buy whatever you want.

I wish that you are surrounded by genuine people and open love. 

I hope you're never taken for granted, because you are special. So special. 

I hope the world sees You. 

Wanderlust

 "I really want to travel somewhere this October".

"Do it! But go somewhere beautiful. The world is full of beautiful places! Greece! Go to Greece!".

"I'll see. I look at some places and they look too good to be true. I want to sit in a village somewhere and eat with the locals. Break warm freshly baked bread with ajvar or dip it in dukkah and olive oil. Pasta, the simple way. And take photos"

"Don't waste your leave on places you've seen already. Go and explore".

Henna

 Henna.

 I personally don't put it on, my hands aren't pretty enough. I do love it though when I see a stranger with henna painted hands. It makes me smile because I'm thinking to myself "Ooh, well it's not Eid, but did you attend a wedding? what's the khushi ka mouqa? I hope it was fun! Your hands look really pretty!"

Alone

 What is it about the Moon that pulls me, to be so mesmerised but it? 

It's light, it's coolness?

It's roundness, it's perfection?

No. 

It's actually it's sadness, it's quietness.

It's the going through its phases and being completely alone. 

It's saying "Look at me. I am alone. I am lonely. I am alone". 

Tonight

 Tonight, he came to me.

He heard my voice and he knew.

He knew that I needed company. He could tell that tonight I couldn't do it alone 

So he came.

And it felt good. I felt safe. 

It felt like I had someone in my life, who'd always be there for me. 

A good day

 He said to me, "Have a good day". I groaned and then he said "No really have a good day". 

It sat with me for a second and then I thought, yes, I can have a good day. It's important to. Not every day will be perfect but it can still be a good day. 

Have a good day. 

For him. To me

 These words I write, are for him.

He knows that. 

How? 

Because when I've composed something, I show him first. 

And he loves it. 

When I show these words publicly, he doesn't react to it.

Why? 

Because he already has. Privately. Intimately. To me. 

Her laughter

 To make her laugh is everything. 

But this doesn't mean you act the idiot 24/7. 

No. 

It's on those days where things have been heavy.

In those moments where she feels alone or wants to give up. 

Then, at that moment. 

When she laughs, 

She'll know better things will happen.

All that glitters isn't

Isn't it strange that when you like someone, everything about them glitters. 

But when they fall from your eyes, from grace...

You look at them and think how very ordinary they are. 

You see things about them that you didn't notice before. 

And you count your blessings that it all stopped when it did. 

Sunrise

 The sunrise tells me here's another day.

Another day.

Another breath.

Another moment to

be alive.

To live.

To love.

To give.

Little girl

 How I miss being a little girl. My life was so simple back then.

I actually used to skip rather than walk.

I would laugh out loud and my eyes would squint up. I would sing at the top of lungs. Some radio songs I still recall now.

I remember how I'd ride my bike after school. And play. Play all afternoon until the Sun would be setting.

The perfect moment

 And that's how it'll be. 

You'll be doing some most important thing...

And I'll be laying there with my head in your lap, 

Telling you in short bursts to look at something, sharing with you what I'm seeing on my phone. 

And you'll be getting annoyed that I'm disturbing your day. 

But secretly loving it and finding it cute. 

And we'll stay in and order pizza.

The perfect day, the perfect moment with you. 

Dark nights

Some nights are dark

the moon only shines a quarter.

The path ahead is dim

and you feel very alone

but you breathe,

and feel your lungs

fill,

your heart expands.

You look around and see

that things are still moving.

Life is living

and there's hope

still hope

for us

to be.

Where are you?

 How strange it is that

 even though I know

 you aren't here anymore,

 it still feels like

 you are. 

I could swear

 I just touched you

 and felt your

 heartbeat against

 my hand. 

And if you aren't

 here and

 this isn't true...

Then where are you?

Deaf walls

 How did we end up here?

When we were over there?

When our love started at a peak, 

How did it disappear? 

How is it from mad, crazy, passionate,

It's gone to only pleasantries?

If you look into my heart and ask,

I'm still waiting for you to come back to me.

But my voice hits nothing.

Only the deaf walls of your heart.

It's like there was nothing

From the start.

What matters

 But is he kind? 

Does he make time? 

Does he make your heart skip a beat when he says your name? 

Does the mention of him make you lost in thoughts of the things he's said? 

Because that matters.

It always matters.

He putting you first, 

Matters.

Till it lasts

 He used to call me by that name.

And now you do.

I used to think that no-one should call me that.

But he's not here anymore to say it to me.

The promises he made

And how I'd always be that name to him

Didn't last.

So call me by that name.

It sounds beautiful from your lips.

For now

Till it lasts.

In you

 Ask her what's important to her?

She'll tell you it's things like

honesty, being real and openess.

She'll tell you it's about

laughing together, 

sharing dirty jokes, 

and holding hands during movies.

It's about spooning at night, 

tucking her hair behind her ear,

and kissing her on the nose. 

But she tells you that she 

doesn't need much.

Because she sees everything in 

you.

Sorrows

 And she stopped talking. She stopped sharing and trying to tell people how she felt or what she was going through. Because she realised that they didn't have the time to listen, nor did they care. They didn't want to hear her sorrows because they were caught up in their own.

Pieces of love

 I carry pieces of love within me. 

Of people, their faces, places, memories and scents.

Pieces that float in a space within me. 

With my ebb and flow, they live. 

And I pull them out, 

Dust them off and remember them.

Pieces of love within.

The real enemy

 Have you realised that the scars on your heart and the dents in your soul have come from people that once knew and loved you? It's never the enemy who hurts you. It's the ones that said they never could...

Out of love

 People fall out of love just as swiftly as they fall in love. So where does the love go?

Body paint

 Whisper stories in her ear

Tell her what you are going to do to her

And then paint her body

Haunted

 "Do you like haunted things?"

"I do".

"Here look at these mirrors to my soul. Do you see how haunted I am?"

Bubble wrap

 And one day, you stop giving. You have so much love inside you, but you realise, the person infront of you doesnt deserve it anymore. So you bubble wrap your heart, pack it in brown paper, seal it, and close the door. But it pains you because where do you now take this love?

Free

 One day something will click. You will finally let it go, whether it is a person, a belief, anything that doesn't bring you peace and happiness. 

All that inhibits your growth,

all that suffocates your soul,

Set them free

like dandelion wishes

in the breeze.

Set yourself free.

Aimlessly wander

 Let's go where no-one knows our name. 

Let's wander aimlessly. 

All day, all night.

Holding hands.

With no care.

With no restraint of time.

No worries of the world.

In perfect peace. 

That we are just, 

Together.

Scars

 Pages that will tear you apart.

Scars that cover her heart.

Before we die

 But, 

Until then we shall live.

We shall love.

We will laugh, dance, sing, and make love.

We shall live before we die.

Vulnerable

 Want to know if you truly love someone? 

Sit with them when they are silent, when they are broken, sniffling, sobbing, messy or when they don't know what to do. 

If you can witness them at their most vulnerable and still want to be there, that's love.

Heavy

 Where do I go now?

Who do I talk to when my heart's heavy?

Torn

 "You don't want this love?" 

"No."

"And you're not to talk to me again after today?"

"I don't want to."

"Ok. Then please give me a moment to pack my heart up. It's shattered and scattered but I won't be too long."

About you

 And then I wrote about you, from my heart, to my mind, and through my fingers. Every word was about you.

Rain

 I could write poems too

 about the rain 

but the rain is

 just rain. 

Whether it be falling in Manhattan,

 on the streets of Paris

 or in Sydney, 

it's the same,

 it's just rain. 

I could write lamentations 

that you aren't here

 with me, 

but it won't change.

 It's just rain.

Road to you

 I'm sure it leads somewhere but sometimes I like to romanticise that this road will lead to you.

Deeply

 If you ever happen to expose your heart to another. If you ever let down your walls, share your secrets, your transgressions, your passions and pain. And, the other listens with compassion, holds you in their hand and heart , and you feel finally safe. Then you're loved deeply.

Fall

 You and I are really just a drop in this whole thing called Life. We are holding on, wanting to go, flow but ready to fall at any time.

Mine. Yours

 "Am I yours?"

"Do you want to be?"

"Yes"

"Then yes"

Stay forever

 How lonely I get when 

your Sun sets

and you go away.

How I wish the light 

would remain 

and you'd stay 

with me.

Forever.

Warm love

 Imagine being loved so purely, that there are no trust issues, no silent psychological torment, no unanswered questions in your heart. But just open, secure and warm love.

Stone

 It's sad when a person's heart hardens. When nothing matters to them anymore. 

From being a heart full of love and light, 

To a dark cold stone.

Nothing left

 It's the little things that matter. They matter now. Because at the time when they happened, you didn't realise how big they were. And now when there's nothing left and you're trying to clasp memories, you realise each moment was special, each was a thing. A very big thing.

Ruin

 People love to ruin a beautiful thing. Even if it's their beautiful thing.

Yellow

 Happiness isn't a destination. 

Happiness is found within. 

Your heart isn't red, it's actually 💛

In love

 Fall in love 

Inhale in love

Exhale in love

Live in love

Stay in love

Peonies and freesias

 Take me to a field of wild flowers and lay me down until my hair smells of peonies and freesias.

Moon

And she wonders why her mood is so.

Why are there highs and then the lows. 

Why the tide is in ebbs and flows. 

Then she looks up, 

And laughs...

 because she knows.

Seasons

 Seasons change. They show you that your circumstances change too. 

But seasons endure three months each. 

You're allowed to change the narrative sooner. 

That's a good thing.